Hope my fellow Americans had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. Mine was memorable as it involved my dad and a freak landscaping accident -- one almost as bad as The Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace. But my father's feet have all their toes once again, and I can get back to what really matters in life ...

... Jermain Dupri's latest tattoo. The rapper/producer just got this twist on the "Holy Mother" black and grey portrait tattoo (shown above) by Jun Cha. And who plays the blessed virgin? Well, naturally, Janet. Miss Jackson if ya nasty pious. The National Ledger even quotes Dupri twittering while getting his ribs tattooed, and that's way more hard than any of his own raps.

I know. I'm bloggin while bitchy. Please forgive. Reading too many of these you-kids-get-off-my-lawn anti-ink rants.

But thankfully, a thoughtful article emerged from the mass of eewww-the-Denver-Nuggets-have-too-many-tattoos stories. Check Benjamin Hochman's piece for the AP on the Birdman's tattooist, John Slaughter of Denver's Tribe Tattoo. Slaughter offers this quote on the team's tattoos, among other nuggets tidbits:

"Tattoos, for thousands of years, have been associated with tribes of people. And throughout the NBA, we are the most-tattooed team. It says that they're pretty self-expressive. It's almost like every single tattoo is a stage or a level in life that you've accomplished or gotten through-and where you're headed next."

In more from the grumpy old man front, Jonathan Zimmerman of the NY Daily News whines about his daughter wanting to get a tattoo; yet, even though he finds them "revolting," he can't come up with a good reason not to get one. In the end, the best advice for revolting ed parents is to tell your kids about Totally Stylin Tattoo Barbie, and they'll realize tattoos are too mainstream to be cool and won't do it. Yup. That worked for me during that whole trendy Crackerjack Box tattoo era.

You don't need Barbie to tell you tattoos are mainstream. The freakin NY Times bleeds out a monthly tattoo story on a scheduled cycle. This week it reviews "Skin & Bones: Tattoos in the Life of the American Sailor" -- check our April post on it  -- and offers some interesting info behind the exhibit, like this:

"In the late 18th century, the show points out, tattoos would have served as a way of identifying bodies in cases of drowning; they were marks of association and identity that could not be eradicated by pirates, shipwrecks or enemy capture. [...] Each had a 'Sailor Protection Certificate' that was carried as a form of identification that detailed the tattoos on its bearer's body; these descriptions often remain the sole remnants of individuality in these once-anonymous figures."

The Times also posts a slide show of some of the exhibits including this archival photo from 1899 of a sailor getting tattooed aboard the U.S.S. Olympia.
 

To reclaim tattoo cool, we thankfully have German thrash metal veterans. Blabbermouth says that Drummer Jurgen "Ventor" Reil of Kreator has opened a tattoo shop in Essen, Germany called Carnap Ink Corporation, and true to their roots, they're doing tattoos you would find on metal heads in the early eighties. Take that as you wish.

The always cool Mark Mahoney of Shamrock Social Club is featured in a sweet and extensive profile in Lowrider Arte. What does he think about the Tattoo Barbie effect?

"There are two things that blow my mind: the fact that you can now remove them or that people can use cream to make the tattoo process painless. I remember how it used to be a scary thing to get a tattoo and how it hurt and that it couldn't be removed, but now you can avoid all that and some of that punch is watered down a bit since you have a way out. In a way that makes me sad, however I do realize that it's good for the business in the long run. I guess I just kind of miss the old days when you had to be an outlaw, or you had to be a real brave soul to get a tattoo."

Bringing it full circle, Mahoney's also tattooed Jermain Dupri, but not with any biblical nip slips.


Quick and Dirty Link Time:

• * The conservative Goldwater Institute is fighting on behalf of a tattoo shop.
• * A new one for you geek tattoo lovers.
• * A lesson for those who insult a woman's tattoo.
• * An apt Memorial Day Weekend story on memorial tattoos (of York, Pa peeps).
• * Soldiers honor fallen brethren with dog tag tattoos.
• * Prisoners also get tattoos. Gasp!
• * And so do celebs who can't spell.
• * More on medical tattoos.
• * The latest look of lovely Isobel Varley, the world's most senior tattooed woman.
  
• * The stories behind six South Mississippi tattoo collectors.
• * People mag has a slideshow on numerical tattoos on stars. Yeah, I don't care either.
• * [Tattooed] Porn Stud of The Week (NWS). A break from "Hot Tattooed Chick" posts.
• * And my finally, my fave, another brilliant tattoo FAIL. [Thanks, Brayden!]