Sep200914
Tattoo Fix for Wanking Kicks
11:05 AM
jesus tattoo.jpgLame headline, I know, but did you really want me to put a blaring "tattoo masturbation cure " up there in bold for your coworkers to glance at. Just thinking of you.

Meanwhile, Brian "Head" Welch, former KoRn guitarist, is thinking about Jesus so he doesn't touch his penis. He explains:

"The Jesus tattoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven't been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me."

If only "Freak on a Leash" fit on ten fingers, then maybe we all would've been saved from "Nu Metal." Praise be.

The news is up later. And it will be decidedly more highbrow.

Thanks, Scott!


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Marisa Kakoulas
CONTRIBUTORS:
Miguel Collins
Craig Dershowitz
Brian Grosz
Sean Risley
Patrick Sullivan
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