The Los Angeles sect (yeah, Bobby Bonafides Fisher uses that word deliberately) of the Adventist Church has decided that ringing your doorbell during dinner and baking you bean-pies wasn't going to cut it as proselytizing methodologies. So, they are going deeper in hopes of getting up under your skin and into your soul.

These protesting Protestants are offering free tattoo removal surgery for anyone who wants to, as they consider it, become a better person. Their anti-tattoo rhetoric blames bod mod for all society ills from gang violence to unemployment. According to the surgeon, Dr. Popkow, who is receiving all the funds and publicity for this art theft, people with removed tattoos "look different, they act different, they have jobs and they feel different. It's just amazing." Amazing grace, eh?

Of course, the laser isn't the only intrusive procedure. As part of the program, the newly hire-able must be attended to by some spiritual cleansing as well. In order to get the tattoo removal vouchers, individuals must attend Friday evening vespers and meetings with the Church pastor.

Bobby Fisher is proud to be of a subculture deemed to be in need of salvation. You're no one, really, until someone believes you are going to hell.