We're Not Home Wreckers Says the NY Post
12:24 PM
tattooed women NY Post .jpg
Today, I'm in the NY Post because I too slept with Sandra Bullock's husband I'm a tattooed NY woman, and as the headline proclaims, "In-your-face tattoos aren't just for home wreckers -- lots of New York gals have highly visible body art."

Aside from the repeated use of the word "tats" (you know that triggers my gag reflex), the article does a good job (for The Post) of getting across the message that women make up a large part of the heavily tattooed, and no, we're not all celebs and strippers.

Ethan Morgan of East Side Ink, who has been tattooing for two decades, said in the article that half of his clients are us gals, adding "They [women] are getting large tattoos, and they're really picky about their work. It's cool."

And it is cool, despite the negative press from the ill-famed Michelle McGee, whom I wrote about last week; indeed, it's because of McGee that this type of discourse about the tattoo community is in the papers at all. This negative gives voice to the positive; at least it gave me a chance to do my usual tattoos-as-a-fine art shtick to an audience beyond you pretty people.

Just walking through the door of my local town hall bodega, the owner Ralf yelled out, "There's our work of art." [He also said, "Feel like a rock star, Red? Don't let it go to your head."]

Alas, not everyone gets it. If you read the comments to the article, you'll see these quotes:

"Who wants to marry that? Or have that be the mother of your children. The tattooed trash look is for a 1 night stand or at best she will date her look heroin dealer/junkie."

"As my son once remarked: 'tattoos make you look stained'."

"Maybe that's the new art, hang a tatooted [sic] person on your wall!"

Ok, that last one was funny.

The irony is the most tasteless comments come from anonymous trolls who call us "trashy." Close-minded comments following these tattoo articles are too common, and in response, I often give the old tattoo cliche: 

The difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you have tattoos or not

I encourage you to offer your own thoughts in the article forum. I know it'll be done in the same vein as you live your life: artfully.

I'm sure I'm mis-quoting this but, "When I'm old, I'll still have something to show other than wrinkles and saggy skin. Or as Pat Sinatra often said, "Tattoos hide a multitude of sins."

Women do have a lot of tattoos. In fact, my wife has more than me. She is far from trashy as well.

I am still surprised on how tattoos haven't been more widely approved, especially the better sex having them.


when you say your a new york lawyer,does that mean are you a member of the ny state bar?

or do you have a jd and live in new york?

i'll go with the seems very insincere (and hilarious on some level), like your trying to impress the public...i guess you miss the bush years...hiyo!

Mike, I am a practicing attorney and member of the New York and New Jersey bars. In NY, I was sworn in Kings county.

If you do an attorney registration search, you'll find that I am a member in good standing.

I've also worked for international law firms, which I will not name.

I hate having to defend my resume, especially to someone who absolutely just proved the point of this post.

And learn proper spelling and grammar before you mock my intelligence. Now that's funny.

I always thought Trolls were supposed to ask questions "in threes"...

hahahahaha you go girl Marisa, you dare a meer mortal question you!!!!

As a person who does not have any tattoos (yet?), I am always stunned and amazed by those that pass negative judgement on our more artful brothers and sisters. I find that most negative views are held by folks who share one common denominator...they lack the proper canvas on which to display any art. As a fine arts major, and person who uses this skill to earn a living , I would most definitely put certain tattoo work in the fine arts category. It's great that you can find the positive from the negative press as of late. Leave it to you to make chicken salad from chicken shit! As for defending yourself to other posts - while I know how irritating it is - I love watching you throw down.

Mike, it's not that Marisa TRIES to be impressive, she just is.

As one of the many readers who is HAPPY to defend Marisa's resume AND reputation- I'd also like to mention her masters degree from an Ivy League University, her multitude of published articles, her highly praised book. But the best part about Marisa is her unbelievable spirit and generosity, not to mention her wicked sense of humor.

Don't you have something better to do with your time than malign a stranger?

I have found a new hero in you (Marisa), and a new object of my ridicule (Mike).


It is people like you that continue to spread the hatred and prejudice that plague this world. You can no more judge a person by the colors on their skin than you can the color of their skin. I am a tattooed lady, and I am graduating from a nationally renown university in three months. I work for a Congresswoman. I plan on obtaining a law degree and working for the State Department. My tattoos do not make me, nor Marisa, nor any human being on the face of this planet, inferior to you or to any other self-righteous asshole out there.

Marisa -Thank you for continuing to be a role model and a source of inspiration.

Tattooed women.
ladies, mothers, sisters, tramps.
its all the same to me.
own your bodies and your lives,
its the only way to be!

i tried to be artful...
PS: death to Nazis


You are the reason I usually go by my last name. You bring bad mojo to the moniker. For shame.

"The difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you have tattoos or not."?
I thought the difference is that tattooed people are cooler and can kick their asses.

I love all your comments. Thank you.

And I'm totally stealing this from bk_brown:

"You can no more judge a person by the colors on their skin than you can the color of their skin."


Unfortunately for every sane, intelligent and informative person like Marisa, there are a hundred brain-dead walking clichés whoring themselves to the media. We need more intelligence poured onto the mainstream media. Great work Marisa

Marisa is such an inspiration to me. I'm not in as appearance oriented a field as law or politics, but I'm tattooed and it certainly has not affected neither my professional abilities or academic rigor. Body mod is a subjective experience: all kinds of people do it for a variety of reasons (or lack thereof). Who is to make the ultimate judgment of simplifying such a diverse group of people? Not to mention that historically tattooing/body mod has meant a great many different things to both Eastern and Western societies. (In some very upper-class circles during the Victorian era a tattoo was a fashionable and elite mark amongst both genders as it signified travel and worldliness. This was also an era in which the mid-aged woman, not fresh-faced teen, was considered at her prime. see Bodies of Inscription and Decades of Beauty)
melina bee

Melina Bee you put so perfectly and Momma as usual you rock. Im so happy you represent us tattooed gals.

It seems that social morés die harder than Bruce Willis. That tattoos continue to serve as such potent symbols of exclusion/inclusion amazes me. Have any of the visually-conservative people out there noticed that a lot of the best draftsman of the last so many years have ended up working in ink on flesh instead of ink on paper?

Our gallery mounted an exhibition some years back devoted to exactly this theme. ( Community reaction was quite mixed, but the opening was a riotously good time.

The question isn't art vs. non art. The question is: what do tattoos mean in 2010?

It's a shame that some people will never be open minded enough to experience the world/life the way it should be. They're missing out on an amazing amount of beauty...more fool them. They have no stories to tell.

I sincerely appreciate your ambassadorship.

Boy, 30 seconds of searching on Google and I come up with:

(That would be a link to the New York state court system attorney listings.)

Mike = Fail

Found this site via Haute Macabre! I haven't read the article yet, but unfortunately the comments do not surprise me.

I'm not a heavily tattooed woman, although I plan to be fairly "done up" one day - I have a piece on each calf and then a piece on my hip, that's mostly covered. Although I do have rainbow hair and a nose ring, so I'm somewhat "alternative" looking. I recently moved to Austin from a pretty small town in Missouri, and while I haven't had any bad experiences in Austin, I regularly bad people tell me in Joplin that I was trashy, ugly, wouldn't be able to find a husband, ask me why I'd do that to myself, etc. etc.

I actually wrote an article about tattoo etiquette on my own site, a while ago. What I don't understand is that even if you don't like tattoos, it's pretty basic etiquette to not walk up to someone and tell them they're trashy because of them. There are plenty of things I find unattractive, but I'm not compelled to randomly walk up and inform strangers when they're doing them.

I couldn't agree with your opinions more. Tattoos are like anything else, you can either get garbage, or gold, and often it reflects the owner more than anything.

I see no reason that a woman with tattoo's should be automatically labelled as 'trashy'. This is a useless generalization, however it would be a good idea to be a little cautious of a woman with trashy tattoos as they can be a first hint of her character.

Mind you this is really true for anyone, not just women.


thank you for being such a strong, obviously intelligent, healthy, alternative women. i feel that there are so few out there that really get their voice heard. so i have a question. do you ever have a problem with people accosting you to see your tattoos? i have a poem on my back and, especially at parties, i have the problem of people simply either grabbing me to read it (when it's visible), or simply pulling down my shirt without asking (when it's partially visible). how do i get them to stop doing this. is this common? i don't want to appear rude...

GAH. Nothing new to add, except that I'm glad someone as articulate and motivated as Marisa is fighting the good fight.

Moses: Tell your friends/fellow party-goers that you'll respectfully decline. Weird how much that happens to me or my girlfriend. Your body is not a wonderland, etc. even though apparently John Mayer has tattoos now.

Also, peted3 is right.

It's just the typical immature reaction of the media. The woman who slept with Sandra Bullocks husband was a home wrecker who just happened to be heavily tatooed, some people aren't smart enough to realize that the two are not causually related and, ofcoarse, the misguided femminist brigade wants to "show it's support" for Sandra by attacking all women similar to the offending one.

This is a good article about tattooed women.
It was printed in a large daily New York newspaper,
You have reached outside of the tattoo community to promote a positive image about tattooed people without even trying.
That's a good thing!

homewreckers?! pssh! tattoos SCREAM "commitment!" haha!

but yeah, seriously, your summation in bold at the bottom really makes a lot of sense.

we should make everyone writing those trolling comments catch up on their dr. suess. "the star bellied sneetches" could stand another go around.

i didn't realize you had a blog! i shall read!

- smo [formerly of moe's! i just found this on haute macabre!]

This tattooed male architect celebrates our beautiful tattooed women and I just love the way everyone here closed ranks with Marisa! And while I’m here I wanna join my people in piling on Mike to say; Mike we really don’t care what you say but we are truly sorry for your ignorance, your poor grammar is a real handicap if you wish to practice law......sorry Mike.

Just another example of prejudice. People refuse to see beyond the appearance because they stubbornly cling to old ways and are afraid of change. Sad.

I am glad to see more intelligent, unique alternative women standing up for us! Thank you, Marisa, for being a great example of a strong woman, tattooed or not!

"The difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is tattooed people don't care if you have tattoos or not."

I own a rock n roll jewelry company and am quite inspired by americana tattoos, pinup, and the like - frequently I vend Ink conventions around the country and just about every single one of my friends is heavily tattooed. Hanging out with these gorgeous colorful gals sometimes makes me feel like a boring canvas, but they ALWAYS say the exact same thing: that they could care less if I'm tatted or not.

Partially because I'm Jewish and partially because I'm just damn indecisive, I am a blank slate - and I feel that those of us without ink ASSUME that those with tats are judging us. It's obviously not true - we're just projecting our own insecurities; but when you group together the massive portion of American women without body art, this makes for a massive assumptive force.

And you know what they say: to ASSume makes a monochromatic ASS out of you and me.

hello marisa &everyone

i was actually poking fun and if i offend anyone im sorry.

as far as grammar and spelling, its the web, not the court at the hague, so i take shorts cuts..not sure its a sign of my intelligence. and i never broached intelligence, you did, ostensibly to bootstrap intelligence into the debate im guessing, so you can mock me. and avoid the issue i broached.

my point is you mentioned your a "lawyer" and i thought it was ironic, that someone who revels in being unconvential and not being judged, may have exaggerateted their resume.

agian i apologize if im wrong, but why aren't you in the "red book" for new york lawyers. i didnt see your name, so i made a wise-ass remark, bc it seemd you were reaching for some "gravtias,", and i've been member for a while and think there is so much pomp and circumstance in the i feel dissapointed that ppl who are supposse to be counter culture and have a dignity independent of corprate america, arent too different from that corp america.

i though you mentioned being a lawyer to counter balance what you perceived as negative views on tattoos...and i think that is hilarious...lawyers arent any more important, or descent ppl than street sweepers or forest rangers.

however your use of the word "irony." is another peev of mine. its not irony that the most tastless comments come from "trools etc" as you say. that's not irony...irony would be if i sort out a tatoo artist and was not sure about getting a tatoo and then they gave me a tatoo and then later they made tasteless comments etc. its ironic bc i went to the artist for their support etc and they ended up giving me just the opposite.

you expect tasteless comments from why is it ironic?

and why are all posts attacking me, istead of trying to clarify the debate. are all you guys cloest rebublicans?

a lot of side stepping the issue and resorting to ad hominem attacks...

i think you guys watch too much fox news..hiyo!!

Mike... I say this in all seriousness, for your own benefit:


I have no tattoos but cannot imagine judging a person for their choice of body decor. In my opinion there is no difference between this kind of blatant stereo-typing against people with ink and people of color. No difference at all. In both cases you have a twisting of moral high ground and pseudo "rationale" behind the name-calling / judgment from OUTSIDERS. They themselves have no tattoos and therefore have no real leg to stand on when it comes to this topic.

Disappointing to read all this. Really. Also, I would imagine Sandra has a problem with this sudden lashing out on women and will say something soon.

Interesting, article/debate going on here.I just got my first tattoo about a month ago. I had no idea it was to be stereotyped as a home wreckers mark! Maybe I would have thought twice about getting mine... psshhh, or not.

I was proud of myself that I took 5 years to actually go through with it and have a piece about the size of my hand on my back now. I am enthralled I got it and it means something to me... (opposed to a cute lucky charm on my hip because I was drunk and wanted in to the biker club).

But seriously, I had no idea this was such a big deal!

Well, My tattoo'd little happy ass is glad to be informed now, but will take it in stride.

Viva La Expression!

hey brian,

sure i'll put the shovel down, but i think i'll have to pry it out of your hands first..

'in all seriousness'......"for your own good"

first reply and 2 personal attacks....

i think brian that you are using "your' shovel to bulid walls, i was just goofing and thougt this discussion would take down some walls...

im sorry i was thinking about brian's comments and i fell asleep....

ZZZZZZZZZZ, damn, happened again

I appreciate all who have thoughtfully commented on this issue. I kiss you!

Also, there's no need to feed the troll, so let's just keep it on topic.

PS: Smo, we miss you at Moe's. And great to hear that you are loving your new work.

Forget it... he can keep the shovel...

I just want the drugs that he's taking... the one's that have created this alternate reality in which insulting someone's career, typing "Hiyo" and bringing up Republicans & Fox News for no apparent reason are an attempt at "discourse."

hiyo again,

"no need to feed the troll..." thank you for thoughtful response.

does that mean if people disagree or sound or look different than you, they are trolls?

now you've managed to invoke both irony and hypocrisy, gudos, from your moral and inttellectual inferior. that is what you meant to infer when you wrote that, correct?

marisa and brian, you guys seem very judgemental and uptight. i mentioned fox and rep bc i wasnt sure you could see the forest despite the trees and figure out i was just joking around.

i apolgized and was mocked for it, now im being dissmissed out of hand.

now hop on your soap wanana borrow a ladder? box must be getting very big your ego maybe?)

everyone else take care and keep on keppin' on!

y'know from what i can tell Mike isnt a troll...

not by internet standards anyways. he actually reponds in the form of debate with some character. a troll would just blabber nonsensical BS to rile us up for no other reason then his/her personal amusement.

i think we lumped him in with the bigger issue, and in doing so we waste our time. do we know that he intended to make those questions as insults, or is it possible he was genuinely inquiring?
either way, i hope he can now see why we love MKD! if not, then its his loss. lets move on.

People with tattoos CAN be trashy. Of course, so can people WITHOUT tattoos. Tattoos do not make a person trashy. Trashy people are that way independent of their decision to decorate their bodies.

I just have no idea how to get trashy people who happen to have tattoos (cough, Michelle McGee) to stay out of the public spotlight until such time as the general public can distinguish between 'trashy and tattooed' and just 'tattooed'.

As someone who works in a tattoo shop, i think that the saddest thing i see are women who come in totally excited about having a piece designed for them, only to return later defeated because her husband/boyfriend/whatever male has emotional leverage over her has said 'no.'. Getting a tattoo should be so totally for you and about you, I'm so tired of seeing people judged and shamed for how they choose to decorate themselves.

Kate brings up a sad reality.

it sucks to see someone gets body art/mod for the befit of another person instead of for themselves.
its even worse when they let others discourage them or feel bad about thier choices. but the worst is those guys & gals getting ink because thier BF/GF, etc tell them to. names especially, but you know what i mean...

You know, I think the WP thing was a ruse on her by some jerk-ass tattoo guy who told her that. Bummer, but people do that shit.

It amazes me also that people are not more accepting of women that have tattoos. Honestly, it doesn't make us inferior. I actually had a boyfriend (no tattoos) that responded to me saying I wanted another tattoo someday to represent my daughter (would be only my fourth tattoo) and he said, "No, don't do that." Like he has a say in how much ink I can get. I also agree that most women tend to be more picky on what ink to get. For myself, I think about my tattoo for a long time before I actually get the tattoo. All my tattoos have meaning. I have seen many men and some women get tattoos that they regret because it was spur of the moment.

For the author of this story, it is wonderful to see a talented writer speak out for what they believe in so eloquently.

Drea "ofcoarse, the misguided femminist brigade wants to "show it's support" for Sandra by attacking all women similar to the offending one."
I would actually call Jesse James the home wrecker not nazi bombshell whatever. He was the one with the wife, the one that made the commitment, not whatever her name is. I don't think "the feminist brigade" would criminalise one woman and idolise the other.

I wish your statement at the bottom was true. As a mildly tattooed woman who is in her mid twenties, I've had a variety of experiences regarding my body modifications. I've had heavily tattooed guys tell me I "need more ink", untattooed guys treat me like I'm some kind of fetish toy, and those in the middle not care either way. Articles like this bother me on both sides I guess. I'm tattooed, but that's not my defining characteristic, whether you see it as a good or a bad thing.

I'm a visibly tattooed woman in a Muslim country— and a secondary school teacher to boot! Imagine what I get :)

My students love my ink, and keep asking me what I'm getting next.

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